Apr. 6th, 2016

magicaddict: (B&W 2)
A conversation today (and the hilarious idea of Smyrna serving customers in The Works) got me started thinking...and from thinking, came a meme.

What if we actually were still in 24hr mode once we got home?  How would your characters fare in your OOC job?

For those who don't know, I work for a company that sells equipment that measures how powder flows (before you think that's ridiculous, consider than over 80% of all manufactured products spend at least some of their time as powder during the manufacturing process - it's a fricking immense industry).  I install the equipment, train users on how to make sense of it, then support them by email and telephone when they don't understand the results (which is often, and quite reasonable, which is why our applications support is free).  I am, essentially, a demonstrator in a university practical class, just with people who have already graduated.  My employee evaluations say I'm quite good at it.

So how would my characters do in the same role?

Anyone who saw him trying to deliver a lecture on the difference between round and square wood (seriously, that happened) will know Gerrard wouldn't have a clue. He's relatively clever, but he simply lacks the intelligence to grasp what the instrument does and how it works. He gets sacked when yet another attempt to build camaraderie in the office ends in him being overheard cracking a dirty joke about the MD's wife.

A natural showman, Thyrian wows trainees with his charisma and engaging personality, and flawlessly answers any question they pose to him with his razor sharp intellect.  In addition to applications support, he also offers pole dancing lessons, massage, and his world famous 'private webinars', during which it is said that he delivers the longest and hardest training many users have ever experienced. His career is long and successful, and when he finally retires, several client companies with large numbers of female staff are forced to temporarily close their offices and declare a week of mourning.

Wonderfully confident and authoritative when he first meets his trainees, Arctus cannot understand how anything needs explaining more than once, and quickly becomes enraged at anyone who does not display a total grasp of what is going on at the first time of asking.  He gets sacked when he finally loses patience and, to their face, compares the head of research at a major multinational pharmaceutical company unfavourably with a child in swaddling clothes.

Bookish and diligent, Vilnius is quite good at the support, but regularly gets pulled up for being too verbose in his email responses, explaining things in far greater detail than the client needs.  Despite this, he is kept on because of his amazing ability to communicate in more than a dozen languages with the international client base, leading to exceptional customer feedback from clients simply glad to receive support in their own language for once.  His career is lengthy, but never really goes anywhere.

For those who don't know, before he was a Pathfinder, Starke was a bookworm.  He'd be brilliant at the job - his natural enthusiasm rubbing off on trainees, his dexterity making him excellent at demonstrating, and his politeness putting him in excellent stead when writing correspondence.  He would, however, soon become bored with doing the same thing, and run off to the circus to become and acrobat after no more than two to three years.

Hugely enigmatic, trainees would struggle to divine the important of Nimbus' pregnant pauses in his conversation.  Email support is also challenging, as his typing hovers at a steady fifty words per hour (though he can manage a hundred if it starts to rain).  He decides it is time for him to leave when, as a thunderstorm breaks and he suddenly starts to converse normally with the office, the shock of actually hearing his voice causes the aging but well-loved office administrator to have a heart attack.

...I couldn't possibly comment, but he does become MD after five years, with no-one quite sure how.

How about you?


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Doug Millington-Smith

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