Post Bristol GBU...

[magicaddict]

...though I should probably wait until I'm in a better mindset than this, meh, I have reports to be writing for other systems and congratulatory comments on my job to bask in.


Good
Attempting to use of some of Lorne's backstory in counselling the emo drow.
The wave of confidence I showed up with on the back of my new job news.
Hiding in the trees during forage o'clock.
Lord Hart braining himself with a caber.
Successfully hiding the fact that I was actively joining in with Shiv-the-General all weekend.
Never coming within twenty seconds of dying.
Another Teutonian scout winning a competition on their own.
Getting invited by Evil Ref to monster for him at Renewal.

Bad
The confidence melting like snow being pissed on as soon as I timed in.
Not having the guts to enter any competitions.
Not having the guts to try putting Lorne about and talking to people.
Not having the guts to argue my points during a debate I should have been involved in.
Not having the guts to enact my plans to win the scouts training challenge - only to prepare.
My report to the Queen being ostensibly very well received, only to find out it wasn't well enough to merit my doing so again, so in fact being pretty poorly received.
Feeling like a bad penny that people can't get rid of.
Incompetent, what appears to be mentally 14 year old faction 1IC behaving like he's playing a game rather than a warleader in charge of a nation's finest.
His attitude being mimiced to some extent or another by the majority of the faction, making deep immersion hard to find.
Feeling left out despite it being my fault for not actually making any significant effort.
Standing on gate guard all day despite there being no gate to guard and rarely any danger, as opposed to actually getting into the swing of things.

Ugly
Extreme rain for the second event in three.
Getting jealous when I'm sure I could succeed as well if I only bothered to try.
Lord Hart's headdress.

So yeah, bit of a mess all round, really. If you don't join in with the games at the highland games, and don't have any major business to be attending to or the willingness to go and find some (which I'm sure would have been out there), you're going to have a pretty boring time. Odd that someone so up for the roleplay side of things only tends to feel useful when a fight kicks off, but I repeatedly fell into the trap of being scared of making a mistake and consequently shying away from a lot of opportunities not to. I'd say must do better, but I'm not sure that's ever going to happen.

EDIT: Have been reliably informed that the quality was not the reason behind my not getting to write the Queen's report again. I did, admittedly, show up too late for the diplomats meeting, where it was decided to rotate it around the literate members of the corps. I overreacted and if I caused offence, I apologise.

Comments

[xanthipe]

On the report - as you weren't there for the meeting, you missed the bit where the plan was made to rotate writing it through every literate diplomat so that everyone gets to join in. It wasn't meant to be a slight on your report-writing skills.

I didn't join in any contests either, and I only got involved in things because Ros is a cheeky fecker and Lord Kameron's response to this is to give her jobs to do. And I'm sorry if the Saturday night chat about DK's was really a bit too frivolous.

You/Lorne are not bad pennies. While it might not have been obvious Ros was actually really happy to have Lorne there as a calming influence. I know you want to do this off your own bat, but if theres any ways I can help get things moving for you just say. We'll have to try doing the sparring at Renewal and see what happens.

[rebel-wulf.livejournal.com]

Hey man, next heartland games you feel like meeting up and monstering together for a couple of hours? I often feel like i don't have much to do so i go monster at the games.

I havn't seen the doug in ages and i miss roleplaying with him!

[flickums.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I really appreciated you coming to talk to me whenever I approached the Teutonian gate. At one point I had to pretty much stride into the command tent to get people's attention as nobody was on gate guard or even bothered to ask who I was/what I wanted.

[halo-dust.livejournal.com]

As a quiet aside, and just because I feel you need to know, there are refs other than just me who think you are very good at what you do. I would hate for you to feel that your efforts haven't been noticed, as that is simply not the case.

Also, congratulations! Why didn't you tell me at the event?

xxx

[valient-starr.livejournal.com]

Yes Lord Hart braining himself was quite amusing :D. To be honest I am also starting to get annoyed by people being facetious and making daft remarks on death knight duelling and lack of roleplay. Given it's all IC Korr is just left feeling repulsed and offended most of the time and is pretty much resigned in just talking to people he knows makes a bit more sense i.e. Vinni, Lorne etc.

I'll be looking forward to you trying to teach Korr how to fight properly, his best knowledge in knife fighting is diving in or shiving people in the kidneys rather than strategy :).