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For Many Years...
Apr. 26th, 2007 07:36 pm...I have been a red delicious man.
The crunchiness and sweetness I enjoyed munching on the scarlet clad, milk white flesh, I thought would never be equalled. Then, it all changed.
Today I bit into a pink lady, and nothing will ever be the same.
In case any of you were wondering, I'm talking apples, which I keep remembering I love every time I bite into one. American Red Delicious are the rock solid, (surprisingly enough) deep red ones that places polish to make them look even shiner. Being a fan of the crunchy, and finding Braeburn a little bland, I used to enjoy them as my apple of choice.
Pink Lady are referred to as the "fizzy" apple - a "champagne" experience. To be honest, I thought it was a gimmick, pink skin and all, until I tried one today. If Red Delicious is like a sweet, juicy biscuit, and Cox is like eating compressed paper, Pink Lady is like being hit with a mallet just above your ribcage.
The first thing that hits you is an almost overpowering sweetness that you think will be too sickly to refresh, but like lightly chilled mead on a hot day, the abundant juice quenches thirst like squeezing a waterlogged sponge straight down your throat. The flesh is wonderfully crunchy, and does indeed contain more "zing" than your average solid apple - it's a snack and a treat all in one. only M&S seem to do them loose, which is a pity, as I like to hand pick and they charge almost fifty pence per apple, but in the end it's worth it. I can't see myself eating another variety any time soon.
_____________
Incoming rant.
Today at work, I was trained on the remainder on the items that the employment movements section deal with. This included the dreaded "printouts" that only a handful of people are let near. Today I found out why.
If we all were, people wouldn't have any excuse for turning out the figures they do.
I completed enough of them in ten minutes to be ninety percent productive for a seven and a half hour shift. I finished the day having completed twice as many items as HMRC believe should be possible, and just over a third of the eight-strong movements team's daily output.
I was a hundred and fity percent productive before I got my hands on these. What the hell do people do with their time during the day to put out as little as they do? I try to keep myself busy throughout the day as a means of avoiding boredom - the work is, as discrete items, very easy - and I work as quickly as I can while making sure I get it right. Watching others is like watching an adult programming a VCR - at least two keystrokes a second, some of them manage. It's infuriating. I like HMRC. I like the system, I like the fact that if everyone in the country were to play their part it would work almost flawlessly (the tax system, viewed as a set of mechanics, is brilliant). Maybe I'm small-minded, maybe I'm too broad-minded, but either way I obviously hold a minority view among the staff, and God knows I hold it among the general public.
In the end, it all comes down to Catch 22 - if all the incompetent gits pulled their finger out and worked, HMRC would find itself getting through the work on hand a lot quicker and would immediately declare half of them redundant. Pity it doesn't do so anyway.
The crunchiness and sweetness I enjoyed munching on the scarlet clad, milk white flesh, I thought would never be equalled. Then, it all changed.
Today I bit into a pink lady, and nothing will ever be the same.
In case any of you were wondering, I'm talking apples, which I keep remembering I love every time I bite into one. American Red Delicious are the rock solid, (surprisingly enough) deep red ones that places polish to make them look even shiner. Being a fan of the crunchy, and finding Braeburn a little bland, I used to enjoy them as my apple of choice.
Pink Lady are referred to as the "fizzy" apple - a "champagne" experience. To be honest, I thought it was a gimmick, pink skin and all, until I tried one today. If Red Delicious is like a sweet, juicy biscuit, and Cox is like eating compressed paper, Pink Lady is like being hit with a mallet just above your ribcage.
The first thing that hits you is an almost overpowering sweetness that you think will be too sickly to refresh, but like lightly chilled mead on a hot day, the abundant juice quenches thirst like squeezing a waterlogged sponge straight down your throat. The flesh is wonderfully crunchy, and does indeed contain more "zing" than your average solid apple - it's a snack and a treat all in one. only M&S seem to do them loose, which is a pity, as I like to hand pick and they charge almost fifty pence per apple, but in the end it's worth it. I can't see myself eating another variety any time soon.
_____________
Incoming rant.
Today at work, I was trained on the remainder on the items that the employment movements section deal with. This included the dreaded "printouts" that only a handful of people are let near. Today I found out why.
If we all were, people wouldn't have any excuse for turning out the figures they do.
I completed enough of them in ten minutes to be ninety percent productive for a seven and a half hour shift. I finished the day having completed twice as many items as HMRC believe should be possible, and just over a third of the eight-strong movements team's daily output.
I was a hundred and fity percent productive before I got my hands on these. What the hell do people do with their time during the day to put out as little as they do? I try to keep myself busy throughout the day as a means of avoiding boredom - the work is, as discrete items, very easy - and I work as quickly as I can while making sure I get it right. Watching others is like watching an adult programming a VCR - at least two keystrokes a second, some of them manage. It's infuriating. I like HMRC. I like the system, I like the fact that if everyone in the country were to play their part it would work almost flawlessly (the tax system, viewed as a set of mechanics, is brilliant). Maybe I'm small-minded, maybe I'm too broad-minded, but either way I obviously hold a minority view among the staff, and God knows I hold it among the general public.
In the end, it all comes down to Catch 22 - if all the incompetent gits pulled their finger out and worked, HMRC would find itself getting through the work on hand a lot quicker and would immediately declare half of them redundant. Pity it doesn't do so anyway.
