Jul. 19th, 2010

magicaddict: (Lorne)
...though I should probably wait until I'm in a better mindset than this, meh, I have reports to be writing for other systems and congratulatory comments on my job to bask in.


Good
Attempting to use of some of Lorne's backstory in counselling the emo drow.
The wave of confidence I showed up with on the back of my new job news.
Hiding in the trees during forage o'clock.
Lord Hart braining himself with a caber.
Successfully hiding the fact that I was actively joining in with Shiv-the-General all weekend.
Never coming within twenty seconds of dying.
Another Teutonian scout winning a competition on their own.
Getting invited by Evil Ref to monster for him at Renewal.

Bad
The confidence melting like snow being pissed on as soon as I timed in.
Not having the guts to enter any competitions.
Not having the guts to try putting Lorne about and talking to people.
Not having the guts to argue my points during a debate I should have been involved in.
Not having the guts to enact my plans to win the scouts training challenge - only to prepare.
My report to the Queen being ostensibly very well received, only to find out it wasn't well enough to merit my doing so again, so in fact being pretty poorly received.
Feeling like a bad penny that people can't get rid of.
Incompetent, what appears to be mentally 14 year old faction 1IC behaving like he's playing a game rather than a warleader in charge of a nation's finest.
His attitude being mimiced to some extent or another by the majority of the faction, making deep immersion hard to find.
Feeling left out despite it being my fault for not actually making any significant effort.
Standing on gate guard all day despite there being no gate to guard and rarely any danger, as opposed to actually getting into the swing of things.

Ugly
Extreme rain for the second event in three.
Getting jealous when I'm sure I could succeed as well if I only bothered to try.
Lord Hart's headdress.

So yeah, bit of a mess all round, really. If you don't join in with the games at the highland games, and don't have any major business to be attending to or the willingness to go and find some (which I'm sure would have been out there), you're going to have a pretty boring time. Odd that someone so up for the roleplay side of things only tends to feel useful when a fight kicks off, but I repeatedly fell into the trap of being scared of making a mistake and consequently shying away from a lot of opportunities not to. I'd say must do better, but I'm not sure that's ever going to happen.

EDIT: Have been reliably informed that the quality was not the reason behind my not getting to write the Queen's report again. I did, admittedly, show up too late for the diplomats meeting, where it was decided to rotate it around the literate members of the corps. I overreacted and if I caused offence, I apologise.

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Doug Millington-Smith

June 2017

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