Doug Millington-Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
magicaddict) wrote2007-06-17 01:44 am
magicaddict) wrote2007-06-17 01:44 am
I Am A Prick...
...and so are my characters.
With full knowledge, intention and ability to stop myself, my characters keep coming out with the nasties. Putting people down, taking the piss and either finding ways to get out of it or shrugging and letting someone else handle the problem.
It doesn't matter who the character is, it seems to be a mirror for everything about myself I truly hate, whether it's boring, insulting, offensive, or just unwilling to consider other people's feelings. This makes them pricks. The fact that despite the fact I don't want them to do it, never designed the characters to do it, and given the choice wouldn't do it, I do it, and offend people, makes me a prick too. I don't care that's it's in character, and that others may not be offended by it on an OOC basis. I bloody well am, and every time I realise what I have done it changes my opinions of myself and what I portray.
I don't want this. I don't want any of it. I want to be so far away from what I do every time I show up and time in, and yet I am told it's great.
What. The. Fuck.
With full knowledge, intention and ability to stop myself, my characters keep coming out with the nasties. Putting people down, taking the piss and either finding ways to get out of it or shrugging and letting someone else handle the problem.
It doesn't matter who the character is, it seems to be a mirror for everything about myself I truly hate, whether it's boring, insulting, offensive, or just unwilling to consider other people's feelings. This makes them pricks. The fact that despite the fact I don't want them to do it, never designed the characters to do it, and given the choice wouldn't do it, I do it, and offend people, makes me a prick too. I don't care that's it's in character, and that others may not be offended by it on an OOC basis. I bloody well am, and every time I realise what I have done it changes my opinions of myself and what I portray.
I don't want this. I don't want any of it. I want to be so far away from what I do every time I show up and time in, and yet I am told it's great.
What. The. Fuck.
no subject
I've only ever truly played one bad guy, and he wasn't a PC of mine. None of my PCs were ever meant to be evil. Stupid and blind, yes, but not evil, and still the decidedly iffy insults flow freely.