magicaddict | Journal No.1

The Steeder is dead.

For now, I am free.

There are others now, the ones who killed the Steeder and the night wolves. They call themselves the elite of these lands.

I'm not impressed.

They had a village full of the afflicted to deal with, and a large supply of wolfsbane. Instead of poisoning the well and leaving the locals to it, they were incoherent, impractical and displayed an unwillingness to proceed with the job at hand and actually kill. Instead, they ignored the direct route and spent two days posturing and arguing, allowing them to indulge their real desires.

I have watched a honey trap baited and set by a female just because she could, a male pin a female down with his knee and lay down the law to her with menaces, a female try to gain social standing by extracting information from me to use, a male attack me to prove his own physical superiority when no proof was necessary (how weakened and pathetic I am compared to underground makes me fair game for any slave bitch, let alone a capable individual), females afforded the first pickings of food for no more reason than being female, male penis measuring and female puppeteering. The males dominate by force of personality and strength of arm, the females by force of will and mastery of manipulation.

Worse, there's another up here. The marks of the spider bitch are all over her, but she wears the mark of the moon whore, and between them she hides nothing. When push came to shove, all airs and graces vanished, replaced by all the domination and control of a priestess. The way she carries herself and talks when she thinks no-one else is listening is such a stark contrast to how she acts when she knows people can see. She dominates in private, then plays the martyr in public. She sickens me.

Above, as below. Black skin, white skin, they all look the same to me. Here, there and everywhere, it's all about control - who wields power over the others. I hate them. I hate them all.

I hate them.

I want to hate them.

They took me in without asking for anything in return. They shared their food without making me fight for it. They gave of themselves to defend me from the Steeder and didn't try to take it out of me later. They healed me and demanded no payment of any kind. For the first time in months, I haven't had to kill for what I need. One of them died for the others, willingly. I warned them that the spider bitch's minions won't stop, and they took it in their stride.

I can't allow myself to be taken in by it. I don't know what they are trying to achieve. There's no benefit to keeping me with them, and in my current state, I have nothing to offer. I can't track, my magic doesn't work and the sunlight makes me so weak I can barely stand, yet still they make use of my remaining skill as though it's something special and try to make me travel with them. Are they pitying me? Or playing me for a future price?

Or...

No. They're as evil as the ones I left behind.