This Is Getting Ridiculous...
Feb. 27th, 2007 07:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
magicaddict...this is, quite literally, the first moment I have had that I can post in since last week.
I'm not doing anything - where's the time going?
Weekdays while working are nothing like weekdays while at university. Weekdays while at university had something to them - they were part of the calendar and each had their own ethos. Monday would involve shopping after the day had finished, Tuesday would be relaxing, Wednesday would involve waiting for people to get back from Sci-fi, Thursday was karaoke and Friday was Shadowrun, all with EverQuest II filling in the gaps.
Right now, all weekdays are are space fillers for weekends that are so packed and busy that they've barely started before they've finished again, and that PhD chapter you were going to work on still hasn't been done.
I lack motivation. Or possibly I'm aware and simply don't want to do much.
Even weekends are slightly grey. I wake up, go to uni, waste six hours of the day trying to write data-sensitive parts of the PhD, get late, rush home, rush dinner, sit down to roleplay (if it's on) desperately unprepared and having to be reminded what is going on when I should be on top of things. I can't make myself go up to campus any earlier and I can't ask people to start any later - we'd never get anywhere.
Sunday I get up, eat crumpets, find we're late for the bus again, despite how early we got up, get up to campus and ostensibly relax, even though I'm actually still doing something. Then go to the pub, again to ostensibly relax but once again doing something. Then I get home, eat, and it's time to sleep before work starts. Where the hell did the time go?
Gone are the days where I can actually do nothing. Every second I have to do nothing in has a large "PhD" sign over it in red, with Kieran's slightly long-suffering stare reminding me that I should be getting on with it. So I do. The only reason I'm not right now is he's currently in Ireland challenging someone else's thesis, then is off to Romania to a conference he's something of a world authority on the subjects of. He's got a couple of chapters to be looking at in the departure lounges, as he requested, so I'm having a night off. I'll be back at it tomorrow.
There's no colour any more, and that really is no-one's fault.
It manifests itself. Last night Tim and I genned characters for Jon's upcoming SLA game. Having been sure that we weren't doing anything, I was quietly pootling away on checking the chapter when Jon and Tim arrived and I was rushed again. In a perfect reflection of what my life has become since I started work, with no nudging whatsoever I found myself genning Rick Deckard. There was a chance to play a TJ clone staring me in the face (complete with lashings of one liners and rudimentary inter-party conflict), and it just didn't appeal to me. I wanted to play the most utterly deadpan leading character ever created.
If it wasn't for Emma being around all the time, I might not get out of bed in the morning.
Why the hell am I making people read this. There are enough other people doing it - the last thing required is another throwing 2cp into the ring.
I'm not doing anything - where's the time going?
Weekdays while working are nothing like weekdays while at university. Weekdays while at university had something to them - they were part of the calendar and each had their own ethos. Monday would involve shopping after the day had finished, Tuesday would be relaxing, Wednesday would involve waiting for people to get back from Sci-fi, Thursday was karaoke and Friday was Shadowrun, all with EverQuest II filling in the gaps.
Right now, all weekdays are are space fillers for weekends that are so packed and busy that they've barely started before they've finished again, and that PhD chapter you were going to work on still hasn't been done.
I lack motivation. Or possibly I'm aware and simply don't want to do much.
Even weekends are slightly grey. I wake up, go to uni, waste six hours of the day trying to write data-sensitive parts of the PhD, get late, rush home, rush dinner, sit down to roleplay (if it's on) desperately unprepared and having to be reminded what is going on when I should be on top of things. I can't make myself go up to campus any earlier and I can't ask people to start any later - we'd never get anywhere.
Sunday I get up, eat crumpets, find we're late for the bus again, despite how early we got up, get up to campus and ostensibly relax, even though I'm actually still doing something. Then go to the pub, again to ostensibly relax but once again doing something. Then I get home, eat, and it's time to sleep before work starts. Where the hell did the time go?
Gone are the days where I can actually do nothing. Every second I have to do nothing in has a large "PhD" sign over it in red, with Kieran's slightly long-suffering stare reminding me that I should be getting on with it. So I do. The only reason I'm not right now is he's currently in Ireland challenging someone else's thesis, then is off to Romania to a conference he's something of a world authority on the subjects of. He's got a couple of chapters to be looking at in the departure lounges, as he requested, so I'm having a night off. I'll be back at it tomorrow.
There's no colour any more, and that really is no-one's fault.
It manifests itself. Last night Tim and I genned characters for Jon's upcoming SLA game. Having been sure that we weren't doing anything, I was quietly pootling away on checking the chapter when Jon and Tim arrived and I was rushed again. In a perfect reflection of what my life has become since I started work, with no nudging whatsoever I found myself genning Rick Deckard. There was a chance to play a TJ clone staring me in the face (complete with lashings of one liners and rudimentary inter-party conflict), and it just didn't appeal to me. I wanted to play the most utterly deadpan leading character ever created.
If it wasn't for Emma being around all the time, I might not get out of bed in the morning.
Why the hell am I making people read this. There are enough other people doing it - the last thing required is another throwing 2cp into the ring.
